Taking a break from his usual shtick of channeling God and savaging liberals, KAR front man Learned Foot has plumbed the depths of his literary talents and branched out into screen-writing. While it is normally not my policy to promote a declared Enemy of the State, I think LF's efforts deserve a mention.
Taking his cue from that timeless classic, The Breakfast Club, LF re-writes that poignant conflict between tyrannical authority (me) and rebellious losers in need of guidance (rest of cast) as only he can. And while yours truly doesn't come off too well, I would be remiss as one of your future leaders if I didn't bring this dynamic talent to your attention. Any script that depicts V-Toed Bill (sorry, dear, but I never liked that whole Nihilist-Wannabe tag) as the foul-mouthed malcontent is sure to be a blockbuster.
Yes, LF is destined for the big time. It won't be long before he's sipping macrobiotic teas and inhaling Krispy Kremes with the likes of Rob Reiner, Michael Moore, and that rising star... dang. I forgot his name. You know the guy I'm tallking about - that genius who hoovered up Big Macs and french fries for an entire month to illuminate the covert fact that McDonalds food has fat in it.
But I digress. LF, don't forget the little people who made it all possible when you're walking down the red carpet.
And speaking of red carpets...here's a thought for you. Want a guaranteed Academy Award for this puppy? Just tweak that last scene a bit. As the crew of hopeless misfits exits the publically-funded building, my character reads the note and gets so enraged she grabs her semi-automatic rifle (which she bought illegally at one of those GetAroundTheLoophole gunshows) and mows down a couple of you in the parking lot. Then run the whole film as a documentary.
Oscar city, baby.
No need to thank me.
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