M.A.W.B. Squad

No, they didn't ask me!

How many of  you people that are reading this get the StarTribune newspaper? Out of the people that do, how many of you like the new look that they have? I know I don't. The type face is really bad and it looks mean to me, and the faces of the columnists are really scary. I'm just a kid, but mean and scary does not sound to me like a good way to attract readers.

My grande problemo, however, is with the Variety section, which is now called the Source. I don't know, but when they start messing around near my comics section I just want to say, "Go away! No touchy! No touchy!" Touch my comics, and prepare to feel my tiny fists of fury!

By "my comics" I mean ones I like such as Zits, LuAnn, Pickles, Dennis the Menace, Baby Blues, Family Circus, Peanuts, Stone Soup, Heart of the City, One Big Happy, Arlo and Janis and Get Fuzzy. I even like Mark Trail because of all the nature stuff, but I don't like the sappy way the characters grin.

Judge Parker? Touch that one all you want, StarTribune! Every one who reads Judge Parker, raise your hand. Just as I thought. I also can't remember ever seeing anything funny in Doonesbury.

As for the columnists, James Lileks is funny and not as scary looking as Dear Abby. I like Dear Abby though because of the way she dishes it out, even if I don't always agree with her (her advice to the pregnant woman who wanted to name her baby Dallas but who's sister-in-law said she had already "claimed" the name actually made me write my own letter to her).

Maybe I should start my own advice column, "Ask TIger Lilly." As long as "I have no idea what you are talking about" is an ok answer, that is.

My dad says somebody described the StarTribune's new look as being like Highlights magazine. That's just wrong. Highlights has never made me feel like I wanted to hit somebody. Do you think Goofus went to work for the newspaper?

Ciao for now.

Congratulations to the People of Iraq

Preliminary reports are that the new constitution was passed.  Congratulations!

For a local perspective check out Hammorabi, Iraq the Model, Iraq Pundit or any of the blogs on their sidebar.

It was the last minute change to allow amendments within two months that seems to have sealed the deal.  It's great to see a working political process.

Never forget the sacrifice made by both Americans and Iraqis to reach this milestone.

Men: It's All Your Fault

We've been telling you for years that you guys are the problem.  Now the "expert" weighs in:

"Men are very bad for women really," he said.

(O.K.  I'm not really into man-bashing, but it is an entertaining sport. At least participants tend not to rent party boats and ask for multi-million dollar stadiums.)

Evil Link

Sure, the music is all hap-hap-happy.  That's just to lure the innocent to their doom.  You've heard of the song that never ends, right?  Meet the game that never ends.  O.K, never might be a little strong, but don't click that link if you've got stuff to get done.  You have been warned. Via the Corner.

While we're on the subject...

I'm loving Martha Stewart's Apprentice, too. It's on opposite Lost, so I don't really expect it to last, but it's beautiful TV, folks. Martha doesn't have a Carolyn, she opted to bring her brain-dead or possibly just stoned daughter on board instead. I'm not kidding, this daughter, whose name escapes me, (let's just call her Moonbeam) she's Billy Bob Thornton from Sling Blade. All I can figure is Ms. Stewart's time in the clink made her re-evaluate her familial relationships so she brought Moonbeam on board to show the world she cares.

The clueless players are all in place, however, including a fella who's a dead-ringer for Mark Anthony and has elected himself resident wise-cracker even though he wouldn't know funny if it fell on him. I missed the real Apprentice last night, was too busy fishing the babies out of my parent's hot tub, and no DVR here in Amish country. Anyway after Martha finishes firing the weekly stooge, she composes a lovely kiss-off letter to them choc-a-bloc with back-handed compliments like "You may not know your ass from your elbow, but you have really nice luggage. Love Martha." That woman has class, you know?

I have to go churn some butter.

Toral! Toral! Toral!

In case you haven't watched last night's episode of The Apprentice, the rest of this post will be after the jump.

Apprentice Blogging

Looking around the MOB, I see we're not the only ones who follow The Apprentice.  We DVR the show, so I haven't seen this week's episode yet.

Over at Our House, Margaret informs us that Rebecca is a local gal.  Local or not, I thought she totally blew it by not bringing Toral into the boardroom last week.  If Toral is so All That then she should be more than capable of defending herself when her part of the task isn't up to snuff.  Rebecca let her friendship with Toral and her respect for her, cloud her business judgement.  Also the two have formed a little "holier than thou" club which doesn't bode well for future team dynamics. (I did agree though, that Jennifer W. deserved to be the one fired.  There was no comparison between her paltry effort at event planning compared to the guy's team.)

Katie's monitoring the boardroom too, (scroll down, no permalinks).  I agree Melissa was a train wreck, playing the race card with her "MY people" ideas and the enormus ego of, "They're all just all jealous of me".  I swear they pick some of these people for entertainment value alone.  What kind of idiot says she doesn't work well with women when she's on an all female team? Hel-lo?  That's sure to get you hired. Mmm-Hmmm.

Like MOBster, Zatera,  I think half the reason to watch the show is to see Carolyn roll her eyes, crack up, or express horror in reaction to a team's ideas or work. Remember the stupid commercial one team did last year with the chef and the cucumber? It's the barely concealed disdain that keeps us tuning in.

Hi...I just got back to town after a loverly, perhaps a smidge too long trip to the big apple--it's so frighteningly easy to hemorrhage money in NYC, I fear I may have to *gasp* get a job. (Holy crap, I DID NOT GET MARRIED TO WORK.) I need to say THANKS to Sandy for the b-day wishes and the shout-out, what a nice surprise. It's taking me a while to catch up on everybody's blogs, since I'm trying to make up for lost time to my poor family. And the 'salad is dead. I'm trying to fix it, and hey, it could be worse, last time I left town my hot water heater exploded.

But I come back to find the Vikings are in hot water again. My God, I'm almost as surprised as I was when Ellen came out. That's all I have to say about that. I'm not sure what I think of the new Strib. I guess I'll have to actually read it, but I've grown so used to going straight to Lileks and cursing all the rest it's gonna be tough to teach this ol' dog a new trick.

Perspective and Soda

From the department of, "How Did I Miss This?"

(Actually, I can tell you how I missed it.  I've been trying to wrap my brain around this whole Harriet Miers fiasco.  Looking at the bright side.  Starting posts recommending withdrawal. Wishing I didn't give a shit. Working.  More working.  And did I mention working?  And school conferences?.........)

Anyway I SWEAR I have been to Steve's site recently.  I'm sure.  I'm fairly certain.  There's no possible way it's been this long.  Why do the Senate Republicans have to be such brainless wimps, anyway?  I could throttle McCain.  I swear.

Did I wander?

Anyway.  I've been harping on Steve Gigli to redeem his site from the name GigglePundit for a long time now.  It really deserved so much better than that.  I like Steve.  Even if he is a young punk headbanger. (Hey, he called us MOBsters old folk.) He's an engineering type.  I get engineering types, seeing as how I married one and all.

He finally killed the Giggle meme.....on September 27.  Maybe since the link hasn't changed I just didn't notice the new title bar?

Anyway, the blog with the moniker thrown to the ash-heap of history is now known as Perspective and Soda, as in...Sometimes we just need a big ol' glass of Perspective and Soda.  I heartily approve.  Even though I personally drink mostly water.  Lots of water.  Except with meals.  Then it's Diet Coke with lemon. Of course, Diet Coke is soda.  Notice Steve chose "soda" instead of "pop".  His Wisconsin roots are showing through.  You can take the boy out of Wisconsin......

Of course, I noticed just as he went on vacation.

Sexist?  They really think it's a good idea to call their base sexist?

iPod Video Emergency

So the rumors pan out and the new iPod is video, (and for you fashionistas, it's available in black!) It's also thinner and has five hours more of battery life for the same price as the previous iPod sans video.  How can I be sure?  Because I'm looking at an Apple Store receipt for a 60 gig iPod without video that has a purchase date of Sept. 29 and a return date of Oct. 13......which is tomorrow.  Yes Virginia, this is an iPod emergency.

Also new is the iMac G5 with built in camera, lighting, and Frontrow software.  The idea is to sit across the room with your remote, bring up Frontrow, and have access to your music, DVD's, videos, etc.  Add to the party built in wireless, bluetooth, and Mighty Mouse.  Basically they've turned it into a media center.

I gotta run, though.  I feel a trip to the nearest Apple store coming on.