M.A.W.B. Squad

The Confirmation of Sisyphus

A preview of the confirmation hearings should President Bush nominate Sisyphus to the SCOTUS to replace Justice O'Connor:

SCHUMER:
Damn, you got us again. Since none of us have been able to lay a glove on you, what could we ask you about that would trip you up?

SISYPHUS:
Well, it was a long time ago, but you could ask me about the time I founded a branch of the KKK.

SCHUMER:
(Schumer does a touchdown-celebration dance)
I knew it! You’re a racist, anti-Semite! That’s it for you! All of you Republicans are racist klansmen! It doesn’t matter how long ago, you’re out of the mainstream! Out of the mainstream! Out of the mainstream! Now we can filibuster!

SISYPHUS:
Oh, I’m sorry, that wasn’t me who founded the KKK chapter, that was Senator Robert Byrd.

SCHUMER:
Uh, I’m sure that was a long time ago and he’s proven that he’s not a racist by being a Democrat.

Read the rest here.

What Do You Get....

when you cross a goat and a spider?  A stronger bulletproof vest.

Lots to say today, but not until later after I conquer some of the work on my desk.

the scale just tipped

I am not, by nature, someone who enjoys stirring the pot; I’m a Libra, and I like to/am pretty good at keeping things in balance. In my daily life and here in the blogoshpere, I tend to leave heavy, important subjects to those who know more than I do, which I fully admit is pretty much everyone. Don’t get me wrong, I love reading what others have to say on current world events, and despite what popular wisdom would say, my mind has been changed by the right argument at times. (There’s that Libra thing again.) If I were to really take a good hard look at myself, I’m probably just a big fat wuss, but there you are. I can go on for days about how much I love ham, but when it comes to anything much deeper than that, I tend to follow Mark Twain’s advice and keep my thoughts to myself. Er, wait, that was Mark Twain, right? See what I mean?

But this past weekend I was confronted with something I thought was so ugly, I need to get it off my chest. (Oh, Katie, we all know there’s nothing on your chest…rim-shot, please…)

A family who lives on my street has a son who returned Friday night from an 18 month stint in Iraq. They sent out an email to everyone on the block, saying they had learned soldiers really just want to rest when they get home, but would it be OK if they lined the street with little American flags for his homecoming?

I don’t know all the details of what exactly transpired next, but I do know that some other folks on my street took great offense at this request, to the point where the soldier’s mother was in tears.

I need to collect my thoughts for a moment and figure out what I would like to say to these people.

OK. Politics aside, I don't care what your view on the war effort is, I don't care if you're offended by the sight of an American flag and that on your own house you fly a flag of the planet Earth, here is a kid who has lived on this street his whole life as opposed to the few years you've lived here, who has been in a war zone for a year and a half and is now returning home to his parents, you know, those nice people who made that great chicken salad for the last block party, remember? So maybe what you should do, since you pride yourself on being so very open minded and kind-hearted, is bring him a pie and tell him you're glad he's home.

Because it wasn’t about you, believe it or not. It wasn’t an opportunity for you to protest anything, or to pat yourselves on the back for being better and smarter than everyone else. It was an opportunity for you to be a good human being and a nice neighbor and You. Blew. It.

This family was given a gift, a huge, incredible gift, and instead of celebrating with them you took a crap all over it. Oh, and by the way, you live here because you know damn well it's the best option, and it's the best option because kids like the one who grew up a few doors down from you keep it that way.

Thanks for letting me vent.

First Ringer Revealed

You obviously didn't come here for smart political commentary, but in case you're into that kind of thing, the First Ringer will be speaking during a Constitution Day celebration tomorrow.  Stop by the Luna Blu in Rogers, MN at 3:00 PM.

For Kevin

Because we know how you youngsters get grouchy if you miss your nap time.

Women Hail Menstruation Ruling

From Kathmandu, Nepal:

There is a tradition in parts of Nepal of keeping women in cow-sheds during their period......The Supreme Court has ordered the government to declare the practice as evil and given it one month to begin stamping the practice out.......

Pushpa Bhusal, a leading lawyer, said it was a positive move in removing the traditional discrimination against women.

She warned however, that a change in the law alone would not be enough........

Women in poor villages in much of western Nepal are forced to stay in dirty cow-sheds outside the home for four days during their monthly period.

They are often given unhygienic food and suffer verbal abuse.

Though I don't consider myself as a feminist in the political sense of today, I'm going to have to go with the lawyer on this one.  This change in the law is not enough.  When the M.A.W.B. achieves world domination, I propose we give the Nepalese women the authority to send their husbands to the cow-shed when it's that time of the month.

Imagine the adventure travelers we could book if we include a stop at the cow-shed with an opportunity to verbally abuse them.  Special this month:  Nepal PMS tour:  4 days/3 nights.  Think what it could do for the local economy.  We'll sell T-shirts that say, "Nepal - Where Payback is Quality Time with Bessie!"

Update 09/16/05:  Welcome Norwegianity readers!  Just a note on my "notorious silence".  Could it be that I was commenting on the news article linked above, that in no way addresses that issue?  You think? 

Though I admit I'm perplexed at the insistence that it's a fundamental right to kill our children.  I mean, none of them got here by immaculate conception right?  (Well there was that one time, if you believe in that sort of thing.)   So, wasn't there a choice prior to the choice we insist we must have to kill them?  (Does that make me pro-choice?)

You're welcome to disagree of course, and I'm sure the majority of you will.  (Maybe even some of the other MAWB authors.  We haven't done a poll or anything, you see.) I'm fine with agreeing to disagree.  Are you? For the record, I do agree that jailing women for miscarriages is wrong too.

Considering how the left has recently taken to loving dictators, (see Castro), I'm sure you'll all be salivating at the impending world domination by the M.A.W.B. Squad.  Stop by often!

And So It Starts...

But before it starts...welcome to Katie from Yucky Salad with Bones.  Anyone who compares Chad the Elder to Doogie Howser is a brilliant addition to the MAWB Squad.  And it's wonderful to have someone help Sandy fill the page.  I sure haven't been much help lately.

The post title refers to my horror when The VP and The Senator returned home tonight after signing up for Cub Scouts or Tiger Scouts or some sort of meat-eater Scouts.  The Senator burst into the room waving a glossy brochure in his hand.  "Mom!  We have to buy lots and lots of popcorn so I can go go camp!"

Oh no we bloody don't.  That's why we have relatives dear.  Ask Grandma and Grandpa to send you to camp.  I do not want sixty gallons of popcorn, sprayed with something that might be Floor-Dri or might be cheddar cheese, sitting around until 2009.

And so it starts.  Our first fund-raiser.  If any of my relatives are reading this...I highly recommend the 5-Way Chocolate Lover's Tin at $50 a pop.  You can even order on-line.

Update 09/16/05:  Sandy here, one of the...what was that?.... oh yeah...MN Neocon Ladies Auxiliary, (name calling just brings me right back to high school..what fun!).  Anyway, welcome to our readers from Norwegianity!  Just to set the record straight, the objection voiced by our brilliant St. Kate and myself, is not to writing the check, but the act of turning our young into shills and siccing them on friends and relatives.

Furthermore, I'm confident that all you visitors from the other side of the aisle are huge George Bush fans, seeing as how education spending has increased 80% on his watch.  What's that?  Do I hear cries of More! More! More!  Remember, you can always add to your annual tax donation.  It's easy!  Just write the check for more than you owe!  Thanks for stopping by.  Consider dropping by Keegan's some Thursday evening for trivia at 8:00.  Really.  We may not be as scary as advertised. For example, it's been years since I personally starved any school children, (other than my own of course.)  I kid you not!

Katrina: Worst. Idea. Ever.

Former New Orleans Mayor, Marc Morial, has called for a compensation fund for the victims of Katrina.  I saw him on Fox & Friends this morning.  He insisted that the fund should be set up with the 09/11 fund as the standard.  Jesse Jackson has also taken up the cry.

Worst. Idea. Ever.

This demonstrates the liberal blindness to what actually happened on 09/11.  They just don't get it. Are we supposed to believe that it's in the same league as a natural disaster? 

09/11 was an act of war against America.  The compensation fund was a defense against losing our airline industry. Compensation was tied to the victims agreeing not to pursue their claims in court.  Remember?  Remember when Wall Street was shut down?  When the market plunged?  Remember how the attack was designed to throw our economy into chaos?

Let's contrast that to a natural disaster.  How many Americans lose everything they own each year due to a tornado?  How many Americans have lost everything they own to a hurricane?  What about the victims of 4 hurricanes in Florida last year?  What about victims of earthquakes?

The only difference with Katrina is the scale of the disaster.  Also, there are numerous governmental and private programs that already assist disaster victims.

09/11 and Katrina cannot be compared.  This is an attempt at a money grab pure and simple.

If for some reason this idiotic idea takes hold, we will be purchasing a property on the coast.  Then we wait for the hurricane that we know will eventually come, and the government check for a million bucks.

Katrina: Blanco: "I need to call for the military."

During a break between interviews on Wed., Aug. 31, Lousiana Governor Blanco says to her press secretary:

"I need to call for the military."  "I should have started that in the first call."

There's another bit before that when she's talking about asking for more military presence.  The middle is garbled, but she ends with:

"put good people in jeopardy, potentially."

If someone can make out what's immediately before that, I'd love to know.  It sure sounds to me like Governor Blanco was intimating that the miltary is scary, which is why Democrats don't control the White House or Congress.

Political Teen and Wizbang have the video.  (The one you can download at Teen is a longer version than the streaming at Wizbang.)

Razor Blogging: Gillette Fusion

Breaking News!  Must Credit MAWB Squad!!

Five Blades!  Count them - Five!  Two lubricating strips! Count them - Two!  Have you ever heard anything more exciting?????  Gillette will introduce the Fusion in early 2006, with optional battery power:

The Fusion will also be available in a power version and features a micro-chip that regulates the voltage and blade action. Other high-tech features include a low battery indicator light and a safety switch that shuts the razor down after eight minutes of continuous operation.

Wowsa!  A microchip.  Imagine that.  And that new battery powered Schick Quattro that's coming out?

"The Schick launch has nothing to do with this, it's like comparing a Ferrari to a Volkswagen as far as we're concerned," Chairman, President and Chief Executive James Kilts, told Reuters.

He's talking Razor Smack people!  We're hanging with the Big Dogs now, with the razor blogging, right?  (Of course, we'll settle for annoying the Fraters, if that's as far as it gets us.)

Update:  The Onion weighs in. (language)