After reading the preceding post by C-Jo (sort of like J-Lo but with a skinnier ass and a bigger brain), I've decided to share one of my strangest idiosyncrasies with you all. This will come back to haunt me, but seeing as I've recently canned the Court Jester, I guess it's up to me to provide a little entertainment.
I hate wet paper.
Wet newspaper, wet paper towels, wet 7-page term papers for freshman theology that were used as coasters by my roommate ..it doesn't matter. If it's made from wood pulp and it's damp, I hate it.
I'm getting more tolerant in my old age. When our first born arrived at The Outpost, he was a projectile vomiter. We had a roll of paper towels in every room of the house. Over the past seven years, we've added another boy and had two dogs with sensitive digestive tracks. I can use the moist Brawny when required. But I was not always so flexible. I once made a waitress go get me dry change after she slapped my four dollars down into a small puddle of water that had formed at the base of my beer mug. Rather snotty thing to do, seeing as I was the one who got rid of the cocktail napkin that would have prevented the water ring in the first place. I was not about to have some sodden piece of paper stuck to the bottom of my glass though.
One year, my college roommates wrapped my bunk with sections of the Boston Globe they first soaked in the shower. I threw a hissy fit of biblical proportions and made them wash the sheets before any of us went to bed that night.
These days I manage pretty well. But I'm constantly forgetting to check pockets when I do laundry, and about every tenth load...a Kleenex makes it into the washing machine. Having to scrape itty-bitty pieces of wet tissue out of the drum of the washer is right up there with killing garter snakes with a crow bar and other necessary evils.
I have a few other amusing quirks I'll share someday, but first I'll need to get a clear ruling on "idiosyncrasy" versus "psychological problem."
Bring back the Court Jester!!
Oh and a tip on the bar napkins. Sprinkle salt on them and then it won't stick to the bottom of your glass. Just one more useless lessons I learned in college rather than studying.
Posted by: Kevin | August 23, 2005 at 08:43 AM
Why kill garter snakes? They're harmless to people, and rather useful in keeping down other, more objectionable, critters.
I can't give you a clear line dividing 'idiosyncracy' from 'psychological problem'; all that comes to mind is the maxim that eccentric is crazy with money.
Posted by: aelfheld | August 23, 2005 at 01:18 PM
C-Jo??
I got a good laugh about that one, but please no more refernces to J-Ho er J-Lo with my name in it.
Wet paper huh? I knew enough in my post not to reveal something that could easily be carried out in public. Next time you're around Keegan's you'll have to watch over your shoulder.
I could wrap you in wet placemats while I play the spoons for Mitch.
Posted by: Jo | August 23, 2005 at 06:01 PM