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February 22, 2005


The Ohligarch

I learned my lesson a few years ago. As a teenager, I discovered Brut. The name sounded right, so much manlier than Aqua Velva or Old Spice. I started with a splash on the neck. But after a while, I had trouble smelling it. So I splashed it on my chest. Eventually I couldn't tell that either. Something was wrong. So I poured copious amounts upon my clothing. What I later figured out was that my nose was so accustomed to the smell that I was no longer able to detect the scent. Everyone else within 30 feet were getting more than a snootful. So I stopped using cologne.

Ten years later, a friend gave me a bottle of Karl Lagerfeld Foto for Christmas. I sprayed a modest amount behind the ears. I suffered an allergy attack. This happened a few times, so I stopped using it again. Finally I figured out the secret -- spray it around my belly button. People can still smell it, and my poor sensitive nose is safely remote from the smell center. My wife especially liked it. Of course, it was around that time that I ran out and I have not replaced it since.

I may need to get some more cologne now. I like the thought of being the object of some strange woman's discreet whiffs.


St. Kate:

Here's a good compromise. Open up one of those freebie Sniffers and put it in his T-Shirt Drawer.

As for me, the lovely Mrs. Flash buys me a bottle of Calvin Klein.


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