Moms with Tentacles

First, before I get to everything else, thanks for the well wishes concerning my back.  After many painkillers, aspercream and a hot shower, I am relatively back to "normal", whatever that means.

Moms with tentacles.  This is the first thought I had after seeing the cover of Newsweek this month. With a title, " The Myth of the Perfect Mother"  I have to admit I was intrigued.  Then my sister-in-law calls to tell me about the article and although she hadn't had that "Oh my God I have totally been there" moment, she said I should read it because it made some valid points.  Well, no it didn't.  Or at least it didn't make the right points. 

As I read it, I started to feel very confused.  This confusion is something I have fought for years.  as a woman and mother, I have received many mixed messages about what is right.  When I was working and told co-workers I was going to stay home once I had kids, the same people gave me mixed messages.  Good for you for wanting to raise your kids.  And it's people like you that set the woman's movement back.  You should consider your career.

And over the years, I have come to the conclusion that being a parent requires some self-sacrifice but that doesn't mean self-abandonment.  Each mother and father, preferably together, need to determine what is right for their family.  And once their decision is made, the government shouldn't need to subsidize their decision.  After all it is a personal not a public decision.  And if for some reason you feel that you need to hold onto and control all aspects of life to perfection, fine.  Just don't expect someone else to pick up the tab. 

Lileks has a good article on this subject and probably states it more eloquently.  He also links to another article in Newsweek about the "Slacker Mom". Hers is a opinion I can agree with. 

Raising kids shouldn't be about how many programs they are in, what schools they go to, and how many toys they have.  It should be about the basics.  Show them love, kindness, appreciation and respect.  And hopefully they will show you and others the same.   Last time I checked, this investment costs very little, can be taught anywhere, and it doesn't even require batteries.

Comments

[Sandy]

I'm with Lileks and you on this one. I heart the Slacker Mom, (although we haven't nixed electronic toys.). My house may be a disaster, my kids may not go to schools that offer Latin, but their parents are mostly home, (though often on the computer.)

Thinking for themselves is crucial, including disagreeing with us, (though they better be able to make their case.)