Beware Hypnotic Cows

On our way into town on Saturday, the car in front of me leaves the stop sign doing maybe 10-15 miles per hour.  So, I'm already wondering what's up with them, (medical emergency? car problem?), when they meander over into the opposite lane, still at a snail's pace.

To add to the anxiety, we're at the bottom of a short hill.  Maybe 50' until it tops off.  If someone flies over it, which we're likely to do out here where we virtually own the road, the Snail Driver will get splatted and we're sure to be collateral damage.

I laid on the horn a couple times.

Snail Driver pulls it back over into the right lane and hugs the side of the road, giving me the option to pass.  After we top the hill, I pull up next to him, slow down to a stop and roll down the window, still wondering if I'm going to need to remember CPR.

Aha!  Snail Driver is actually a local Grandpa and he's topped 90 if he's a day.

"Are you O.K.?", I query across the gap.

"Yes. I'm fine."

"I'm just asking because you were driving on the wrong side of the road?"  (Hint. Hint.  Driving on the wrong side of the road might not be a good idea, in case that little detail had slipped your mind.)

"I was just a-looking at the cows." he explained in a high pitched sing-song voice, as if it's the most natural thing in the world to wander into the other lane at the bottom of the hill because the cows caught your fancy.

Now, I'll admit the farmer on this corner has a fine herd.  They could even be described as downright good-looking as far as cows go.  I'm sure Snail Driver Grandpa also has a finer appreciation than I do of their worthiness since I'm a city girl transplanted to these parts.

Maybe their very fineness cast an hypnotic spell upon him, drawing him into their cow gazing trap.  I don't profess to understand farm animal mysteries.

The second, and more likely explanation, is that Grandpa no longer has the attention span needed to operate a motor vehicle.  Maybe I should have taken down his license plate number.

I did watch the ditches on my way back home, hoping I wouldn't discover him there, mesmerized by another encounter with the animal kingdom.

"I was just-a-lookin-at-the-cows....."

Comments

[aelfheld]

Stop and smell the . . .

Just doesn't have the same ring to it.

[drunkenbatman]

For the record, cows do have a hypnotic quality about them. It's their eyes, which are both vacant and cute at the same time, which either means they're very smart but very bored or very dumb and quite content. Luckily, they're tasty either way.